258PM

I have a chilazia, a stye inside my eyelid. So I look like quazzymoto for the next week with my swollen eye.



Awesome. At least I got drops and it doesn't really hurt anymore,
it's just realllllyyyyyy ugly.

435PM

In my dream - there was Joel, back again - in my dreams it's always a charade and he faked it, even though I know he didn't. I know he's gone. But we were like hanging out with our friends and he was with another girl, I tried to ignore them but it wasn't easy, I ended up just walking out and he came after. He told me he didn't care about her, she just kept grabbing his arm and trying to make it look like more than it was, he told me that no one would ever have what we have, and kissed me. Then I woke up. I was in Ashley's bed, so I tried not to cry.

I went back to sleep and ended up meeting my Grandparents in their thirties, but nothing was different just their bodies and outfits, we had dinner. I'm pretty sure I had a birthday party with the dead, and as weird as it sounds, it was the best party ever. Made me feel like they're still thinking about me, they get to be young again, and I feel like the dead can really talk to you in your dreams.

Seeing Joel was a relief, it felt so real. I heard his voice and felt his kiss, and that's what scares me. I just wish I could cut through the demension that's keeping us apart.

I miss him so much.

1023PM

My party was decent, people got rowdy... but it ended up okay. Not too many people showed up but it was a good amount, my favorites. It's awesome being the only person at your own birthday to not have sex, ha.

Tomorrow is my family party, I get my new Voyager! I'm so psyched. Here's to being 19.

823PM

The past couple days have been so good. School is out, summer has started, it's almost my birthday - good things happening everywhere. I got three B's so far, don't know my last one but it should also be a B.

Anyway, Monday I babysat Loralie for a couple hours, then I think I just hung out for the night cause I was tired, oh and I fought with Stephanie most of the day.

Yesterday I got up, went for a long walk - stopped to talk to Abby for a while on her patio, came back showered, got around. Went to Williamsport, then to Wegmans with Dad saw the boys (Ant, Tyler, Jim, Josh) on Ant's lunch break - heard about Sean Timm's going away party so Dad and I shopped - oh I also saw my counselor Kari, she's 7 months pregnant and her belly is so little! So Dad and I got back to E's, unloaded groceries and I ate then we mulched all of E's flower beds and the Rose bushes. We had to get the rest of the mulch out of Dad's truck on to a tarp so I volunteered to get knee high in hot shitty mulch and shovel it out of the truck. How awesome am I? With black legs and feet I took a shower and got online to see what was going on, after hours of figuring things out I went to Sean's and found everyone. Joe was there and so was Chris, that was terribly awkward for awhile but of course Chris didn't talk to me and Joe warmed up. There were so many people there, I love parties at the Logue house. I guess I missed when everyone left but Joe and I ended up being the last people, we helped Sean clean up cans and bottles and tried to figure out where we were going to sleep, I told him Ashley left the door open for me but he didn't want to go there so we were just going to sleep on Mim's couch, until I went to get a glass of water and when I came back he was sprawed out snoring like a bear. And he wouldn't even wake up. So I slept in the recliner next to him until like 10 am, I was up several times before.

I took him home then I was on my way home when Ant called so I went over there and they asked if I could take Tyler and Josh back home since the van's broke so I did, I drove all the way to Kylertown and back before 3pm then I came back to Williamsport switched cars and came home, took a quick shower and got FRESH clothes on then left for Lewisburg with my sister. We had to go move my Mom's car and Steve's truck for Street cleaning Friday. Then I finalllllyyyyyy came back home and I've been here ever since. Mannnnnnn, I'm so tired.

Tyler tripped me last night and I have this gross bruise on my foot.

I love summer.

The boys are playing at the Valley Friday and Joe Logue comes home Saturday so that's another party, can't wait, the weekend after are my birthday partiessssssss. Weeee, and I'm babysitting Loralie here and there until the boys get out of school in June.

Life's good for now :]

714PM

I jumped on the tweetwagon.
Http://twitter.com/BCUZANGSAID

1118PM

Got my party planned for May 23rd. Kinda psyched, kinda don't wanna get my hopes up.



So many feelings. Is school over yettttttt? Three finals this week, then done!